My unfiltered well water is better than your filtered tap water. Like, so much better, that I drank so much I had to pee all night my first night home.
There really is a fish called the Sarcastic Fringehead, and no, I don't think he just watches back episodes of Fringe and holds up a "Sarcasm" sign, but I'm not 100% on that.
Ancient tribal people did really mean things - just go to Ripley's Believe it or Not and see all the freaky ways people made scary tools to make bad juju for each other. I'm not sure if they are still doing mean things, or if Ripley put a stop to that by taking away all their mean tools.
When you walk through the Spinning Tunnel of Doom, keep your eyes on your kids - you'll be a whole lot less affected by the vertigo.
Why get a pedicure before you go to the beach? Walking in the sand sloughs off all that freaky dead skin off your feet for FREE. And any nail polish you happened to still have on.
Wet shells are heavier than dry shells. A bucket of shells is heavy. Several buckets of shells is very heavy. But hey, I'm going to make a really cool mosaic walkway for my chicken house out of the metric ton of big shell pieces I hauled home.
Don't ever assume that the condo you are renting comes with a blender. After drawing her a picture, I learned from the really sweet Housekeeping lady that this is called a "licuadora". (I guess because when you fill it with fruit and liquor you adore it.) And also that you can be pretty sure that taped-shut box with a blender in it at the Wal-Mart was only used once or twice. We did the noble thing and instead of returning ours to join the others abandoned, we proudly brought it home like a trophy.
If you don't do the thingies in order at MagiQuest, it doesn't count, and you have to go back and do them again. Some magical creature probably told me that, several times, but that place is so cacophonous it's hard to tell. It makes me feel like I'm in an interstellar bar in an episode of "Firefly" and people are shouting at me in Mandarin.
Always ask the dudes at the front desk where to eat. We did, and they both gave us the same name of a restaurant. It was an expensive buffet (a family of 2 adults and 2 children was right around $100), but everything we put in our mouths was divine.
http://www.originalbenjamins.com/
Fringeheads are some freaky buggers - they look a lot like a fresh water lionfish, but with a Dune sandworm mouth ;0)
ReplyDelete"We did the noble thing and instead of returning ours to join the others abandoned, we proudly brought it home like a trophy."
(high five) Thou rockest for not being seriously meh.
Buying stuff just to use at the beach and then returning them is one of the most loser things people do on vacation. I used to work at the
Wal-Mart in Shallotte, NC, and cleaned houses in Holden, Sunset, and on Bald Head. It always gave me major wtfness when tourons would brag about how clever they were for not having to pack things.
I love your writing and the way you always make me laugh. It sounds like you had a great time and got to see wonderful things. {{{hugging you}}}
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